Sunday, November 16, 2008

Job

Job Seeking

I'm still in Ft. Lauderdale and still without a permanent position. But I'm not phased. Tough times for sure. When a trillion dollars disappears off the face of the earth it comes out of someone's pocket. And those are the deep pockets of people who typically own yachts and the first stop loss is to cut out toys or at least put things on hold. With the whole world in recession and the stock markets bottom still not found things are braking hard.The boat show was huge as usual, but the general consensus is that business is way down. Although I spoke with the builder of my last boat and he said they were doing pretty well. They are an Italian though so I guess the dollar strengthening versus the euro allows more wealthy Americans to buy their goods where as a few months ago it was out of the question. It seems though that things will be tight for while until it all stabilizes.

The other factor handicapping crew at the moment is the phenomenal influx of "newbies". For years now the yacht industry has been a "crews market" with not enough good crew to fill the boats. Well word has obviously gotten out and the jig is up. Experienced crew are caught in the Lauderdale Blizzard of '08. The crew agencies we use to find work are completely snowed under the avalanche of new candidates. While 'newbies' aren't necessarily competing for the same jobs as experienced crew, they are clogging up the whole system. At the moment it takes about two weeks just to get a meeting with a crew placement agent. Pretty crazy since crew agencies are springing up like mushrooms. At this rate soon there will be a crew agent for every crew member! A royal pain since in the past you would sign up with a couple of agents and take it from there. Now we all feel obligated to sign up with as many as possible to get better odds. I've had to start a database just to keep track of everything.

So all we can really do is rely on the old tried and true practice of networking. So we frequent the 'yachtie' gatherings and get togethers and repeat for the thousandth time "Do you know of any boats looking for a _____?" The upside is I've met a lot of new unemployed friends. The same faces appear so many times that you feel you've known them all for years.

All we can do is plug away and wait for things to loosen up. People are running out of money, especially the unfortunate 'newbies' who were told and truly thought they would have a glorious new job in a matter of days rather than weeks. People will start giving up and move on. Time is on my side. Truth be told I haven't brought out the big guns yet. I never run with the herd and I definately don't like running against it so I've been bidding my time, putting out the feelers and letting the dust settle. Last Saturday we had a sort of reunion with Gloria's Sun "family" at the China Grill which is a chic restaurant/club. The food was very good (should be for the outrageous price), but the music was too loud. Anyway there was the owner and former captains, stews, engineers, managers and others. A couple of days later Michael called to say if I wanted, to come and stay on the boat. The next day he called and invited me to the club, but I was out with others and apparently he fell asleep anyway. A couple of days later he called to ask me if I wanted to do a trip to the Bahamas with him. So since I'm not doing anything I said yes. He has a new captain who is happy to have someone onboard who knows the boat well since he hasn't taken it out on a real voyage yet. So from Nov 24th- Dec 1st I'll be in the Bahamas.

Tomorrow I'm off to a barbeque (more networking) and next week hopefully I will finally have the opportunity to charm some crew agents face to face.

Tuesday, October 28, 2008

Fall in NJ

Hey All. I finally broke down and was persuaded to join Facebook.com. It's really crazy how many people you can quickly catch up with on this site. I skipped the High School reunion, but since I've been on Facebook I've gotten the current low down on many of our classmates and even saw some pics from the reunion. Which brings me to my point: I'll be uploading my photos from now on to Facebook since it's easy and a good central point to place them. You will need to be registered to view them, but it only takes a minute.

Here is the link: http://www.facebook.com/people/Doug_Wolinsky/635121840

October 18th I've volunteered to be Beach Captain for Clean Ocean Alliance's Harvey Cedars Beach Clean Up. We will have refreshments and snacks for participants (quantities are limited). It's the same day (unless postponed because of no waves) and meeting place as "The Clam Jam" surf contest so there should be a lot of activity this Saturday on the beach of Harvey Cedars. So come on down, check out the contest, help clean up a beach and enjoy the shore once more before it gets too cold! We will meet at the top of Hudson Avenue or just on the other side of the dune. See ya there!

OK, I didn't post this on time so you can disregard the above paragraph. It was a cold and windy day for the Clean Up which I'm sure didn't help the turnout which as it turns out wasn't great. A total of 9 people showed up. Well actually 7 and two toddlers. But we managed to pull of a couple bags of trash off of the precious little beach which is left in Harvey Cedars. Thanks to everyone who helped out.

The next day was the "Clam Jam" amidst large Northeast storm surf with more high winds and cool temperatures. An impressive amount of people braved the weather to watch and cheer for the local surfers as well as partake in the goodies provided by the sponsors including Pine Surf Shop and Mud City Restaurant. Brendan Wilhem was killing it and for the second year in a row will have his name engraved on the Clam Trophy along with teammate Dan Merganser. There are pics of the day on my Facebook page. A day late for the Clam Jam, on Monday the winds went offshore. The surf cleaned up nicely, held it's size and provided good fun for myself doing some drifts in Beach Haven and the contestants in Seaside attending the "Grudge Match" surf contest won by Sam Hammer.

A week later we again were blessed with fun surf, but the water is cooling down. Fullsuits are the call now and many are opting for booties. It won't be long before the 5mm wetsuits are needed.

So now it's time to get back to work. I'm heading down to Ft. Lauderdale tomorrow to start the search for another boat. It looks like just in a nick of time before Old Man Winter arrives.
Au revoir!

Thursday, September 11, 2008

There Goes the Neighborhood!

Hold on to your hats! The world is already a scary place. I hate to add to it, but I didn’t create the situation, I’m just commenting on it. The good news is you may not have to worry for much longer. The bad news is you may not have much longer to worry.

In Geneva the CERN LHC is open for business. LHC standing for Large Hadron Collider and no, unfortunately it is not the world's newest and largest bumper car park. It is a 27km ring of underground magnets designed to fire proton's at each other at nearly the speed of light. The idea is to recreate, with a markedly smaller bang, the aftermath of the Big Bang and hopefully see some hither to unseen particles which will give us some clue as to how the universe was created. The cost of our newest theme park for geeks: 6 billion Euros to date.

Particle physicists have stalled out. They have gone as far as they can with previous experimental data and so in the spirit of progress they need to build a bigger experiment, thus the LHC. The problem is that while they know what they hope to find (sort of), they have no way of knowing what they will actually find. The "x" factor is real and they embrace that. It’s the very spirit of discovery and perhaps even a noble effort. After all, I might be writing from Europe or Asia had not some brave souls embraced the "x" factor, disregarded the idea that the Earth was flat and set sail around the globe (Actually those explorers were just greedy and desperate, but it‘s too early for me to make that correlation). But what if the Earth was flat? Well I'd be writing from another continent and those explorers would be floating out towards the edge of the Milky Way. No earth shattering tragedy there, relatively speaking. However, in the case of the LHC the stakes are considerably higher. If they are wrong no one will be falling off the Earth. If they are wrong the Earth will fall out of existence!!

Yes, there are those who are concerned that these experiments might bring about the total annihilation of Earth, possibly even the solar system (see example story below). Who are they? Most are probably crackpots like me who don't have degrees in Astro or Particle Physics, but a few do have degrees and good reputations and they have voiced concerns. Should they be dismissed? I would like to say yes, but I can not. The doomsayers are worried that these new experiments might create a mini Black Hole or “Stranglets” which convert matter to something completely unpalatable to us. The experimenters say they don't "think" they will, but "if" they do there won’t be any harm.

I am not really up on my Astrophysics so I can't say for sure, but I'm not aware of any experiential, physical or observational data on Black Holes or Stranglets which leads me to believe they know anything more of substance about them than your local preacher can prove about God. It now appears that their motivation to disprove God is so great they are willing to paradoxically debate him face to face!? Consider how science has moved closer to religion. Faith is the major component of religion and now science is prepared, on the "faith" that they are not wrong, to gamble in an effort to discredit “Faith“! Hmmm? Zealots? These guys are playing with matches and they refuse to listen to Old Smokey The Bear. “Shhhushh Smokey! The adults can control this” What child doesn’t say the same exact thing? And let us not forget that there is no Milky Way Volunteer Fire Department to come to the rescue.

I'm personally not very comfortable with "scientists" placing bets using words like "we don't think" and "if we create a black hole" when to call this bluff requires us to go "all in" by betting Planet Earth. Do I think it will happen? No. But just in case I'm updating my intergalactic will. Of course, unless the legal system in the alternate universe we will be sucked into recognizes Earth law, this will be wasted time. Could it happen? Yes. Why, because the brains behind this don't know what will happen. That's the whole point of the experiment. They aren't trying to verify anything. They are looking for new fodder. They have finished their book "Science through the 20th Century" and are desperately searching for a story line to their next best seller "Fun things to think about in the 21st Century" even if they need to cook it up in a laboratory Petri dish.

Particularly worrisome is my understanding that their back up plan (that any created black holes will evaporate) is based on "Hawking's Radiation". This 30 year old theory very nicely explained away quite a few theoretical problems in its day. However, more recently it has become considered possibly obsolete due to the fact that newer evidence has come to light which also very nicely explains away those same theoretical snags of yesteryear. In short, "Hawking's Radiation" may or may not be correct.

With the Snaglets they predict that their positive charge won’t attract any matter and so they won’t be a problem. The problem is that for every positive there is a negative. You don’t have to be a genius to realize that! The fact that at least one (but not all) reputable scientist(s) has posited that it is possible for a negative Snaglet to be created makes one question whether or not IQ tests have any validity at all!

There goes the neighborhood! If just one negative Snaglet moves in property values will plummet. It would convert all Earth’s matter into similar Snaglets. Great for the Snaglet market, not so good for the housing market! But then again the housing market is in shambles and maybe it would be fun being a “Snagling”, you never know. At best we could hope that the world would be turned into an anti-world where geniuses are working at WalMart and the simple folk are running the science affairs. At least in that world we won’t have to worry about science experiments actually working and thus we will be able to sleep at night.

The other day telephones lines got crossed and I listened in on a long distance conversation-

Voice: “Hello, and thank you for calling Universal Life Insurance. How may I help you?”
Earth: “Hello, am I covered for Black Holes under the Hawking’s Clause?”
Universal Life Customer service: "Hmm, well Earth I'll have to get back to you. I'm not sure if the "Hawking's Radiation clause" in your insurance policy covers mini black holes or not. If you tell me the size of the black hole I'll take it to our legal department and clarify."
Earth: "I don't know. Let's say nothing bigger than a pin head, but my how they grow up fast. And get back to me quickly with an answer. If it's a matter of a higher premium I'll send a check today!!"
Universal Life Customer Service: “Yes, Ma’am. Is there anything else I can help you with?”
Earth: “Yes. What about Snaglets? Am I covered for them?”
ULCS: “Yes and No. You are covered for Postive Snaglets, but due to the inherent risk of
Negative Snaglets they can not be covered. I’m sorry.”
Earth: “ Yeah, me too!

We might get away with this, but it is still troubling. If God himself appeared and said the experiment was safe I'd still be worried. Not for the immediate future, but with regard to the mentality which continuously inquires "how can we do this?" without ever stopping to ask "should we do this?" Or honestly and sincerely asking “why do we want to do this?”.

Scientists can be addicts too! Fabricating job security isn't noble. Even if they aren't aware of it consciously most everyone can see that the military machine continually creates or perpetuates situations which allow it to continue to justify it's existence. Noble? I think not. Self perpetuation isn't lost on corporations either. Gillette will soon discover evidence that shows that 5 shaving blades aren't enough, but six will do the trick. Does anyone really believe we need 5 or 6 blades? Not me, I’m holding out for ten! Intelligent beings should be able to grow and adapt. Wise men should know when it is time to move on, to change course. Maybe we should couple a “Wisdom Test” with the IQ Test before giving people the ability to put the planet at risk. If only common sense were common. Or maybe it’s just that we need to put more common people in charge who actually possess common sense.

Are not some of the sciences falling prey to narcissistic qualities? 6 Billion Euros is a pretty big habit we are supporting! What do we actually get from these guys, even if we allow for success? Undoubtedly these people have brains parents will all be genetically opting for in our children (Should we? Probably not. Will we? Yes!), but does that mean they can't be mistakenly led down a road best left un-traveled?

I should state here that I have no stake in whether or not they prove or disprove the existence of God. To me that question is as irrelevant as the question as to whether or not the Big Bang theory is correct. Both are interesting questions, but neither in my opinion make one iota of difference in day to day life! But I have to admit, you never know when one of these questions will pop up on Final Jeopardy! But then again, I never saw anyone win 6 Billion on Jeopardy!

So if we still exist the next time scientists ask for a ridiculous amount of money for their next experiment I suggest we round them all up in one place to discuss the matter, which will be simple. We will just tell them we’ve discovered another “matter“. We should plan ahead for this and set aside a billion euros or so to cover the large psychiatrists/hypnotists fees and lock them in until they see that they should be concentrating their collective intelligence on something of real world value instead of foolishly stimulating their brains to orgasm! Are geniuses more predisposed to the psychotic fear of "not knowing"? I'm sure there is a scientist out there who will happily take research money to find out!

Leaving big brains aside for a moment; I thought it was just a bad dream, but apparently Bush's plan to send a man to the moon (again?) is real and another perfect example of irresponsible science. Why do it!? Does he want the American flag back that we supposedly left there? Does he think we are running out of cheese? Or does he just want to rap with the man on the moon?
There was absolutely no rational reason for sending anyone to the moon in the 60's*. There is even less reason today!
* Which is my main rational for believing we never went. Conspiracy theories aside, think about it and keep in mind Occam's Razor (The simplest answer is probably the correct answer). The only reason to go to the moon was to gain psychological advantage over the Russians. If we could accomplish that without the time, money, risk and effort of actually going there we would. And we could, not because our science was more advanced, but because our movie making was. Somewhere there is a director without an Oscar that really deserves one. He also deserves the thanks of an entire nation if not the entire world for arguably the most important film in the history of man and it goes without credit. Sir/Madam, I salute you!

Something else to heap on the pile: I don't think these are credible, but they popped up in my searches and I do think they are humorous enough to include here:
1) Nostradamus predicts calamity. Paraphrasing: "Leave Geneva. Positive Ray will annihilate all".
2) Bible backed doomsayers point out that our population is approaching 6.66 Billion. For the devil in me I can’t understand what that has got to do with anything!
3) Bible code predicts this disaster in numerous places. But then again it also predicts that a big
purple one eyed ape is writing this. (I’m hairy and possibly color blind, but I definitely have 2
eyes!) Unless I’m perpetually drunk and just seeing double. Oooh, I’m scaring myself now!
4) And there is a Mayan doomsday prophecy stating the world will end in 2012. Just enough time for a mini black hole to be pulled by gravity to the center of the Earth where it will slowly (relatively speaking. See: Einstein's Theory of Relativity) gobble up the Earth over the next 3.5 years.

Sleep Well, don't go to bed angry and if you feel yourself getting inexplicably heavier in the next few weeks don’t bother dieting. Run to the nearest space shuttle, hop in, press the “lift off” button and try to figure out how to steer the thing out of Earth’s orbit.

PS. Don’t forget to pack a big lunch and your Mp3 player. Space radio signals are notoriously static-y.

PPS. Maybe the Moon is Bush’s escape plan. Maybe someone should tell him that the moon is under Earth’s gravitational pull? Naaaah!

PPPS. Nothing can go faster than the speed of light, right? That is probably what you were taught and believe, but it isn’t true! I just thought I would throw that in just in case you are thinking that science is always correct and forthcoming with all the facts. (See: Tachyons or VSL-variable speed light)

PPPPS. Note: I am an amateur pessimist and should probably be ignored. However, if you are in possession of any worm hole technology please post a comment with the cost of a one way ticket to "anywhere but here" and the nearest point of departure. Thanks.

PPPPPS. Wikipedia says using all these “Post Post Scripts” is deemed “poor style”

PPPPPPS. I don’t give a damn, There is a lot of PP in me and I’m letting it out!

The following Story Copied from:
Risk Evaluation Forum http://www.risk-evaluation-forum.org/

Recent developments in physics suggest the possibility that an experiment, scheduled to begin at the European research facility at CERN in 2008, will destroy the Earth. CERN is installing a new high-energy particle collider, the Large Hadron Collider (LHC). It is expected to produce particles scientists have not seen before. Two of these particles could be dangerous.

Black Holes Several string theorists have published papers predicting (if their theories are true) that the LHC will produce mini black holes. In the worst case, a mini black hole could swallow Earth.

Strangelets Strangelets, another potential collider product, might catalyze conversion of normal matter into more strangelets, turning Earth into a small ball of strangelets.

Safety Factors In 2003, CERN published a paper asserting several safety factors. Black holes were supposed to dissipate via Hawking radiation. A collection of strangelets were supposed to be electrically positive on its surface, and therefore not attract other matter. However, new studies have put these safety factors in question. New physics papers question the existence of Hawking radiation. A recently published paper finds that a collection of strangelets can be negative on its surface.

Recently (in June 2008) CERN published a new safety study that asserts additional safety factors. We are reviewing this new study. We have quibbles with their methodology and with some of their assumptions. Nevertheless, this is a welcome development that reduces the subjective risk. The question is whether this is good enough. Even a small risk has a large negative expected value (probability times cost) when the lose at issue is Earth.

What You Can Do Readers can help by thinking about, discussing, and publicizing the issue. Contact us to help with our initiatives. We also encourage more physicists to work on the issue, and we encourage funding to help them to do so. (Physicists quickly see model limiters. Consider if candidate model limiters are reliable enough to protect something as valuable as Earth. If you think you have found a sufficiently reliable model limiter, please let us know.)

Sunday, August 17, 2008

It's a pretty bad weather year for Amsterdam this summer. It really isn't much better than when I came early in March 2005. Hopefully it is better in NJ because I'm coming home!

Right now I should be in Thailand, but alas it was not meant to be. I got to the airport and was told I was not on the flight and to add insult to injury they were telling me that I needed to go to the embassy to replace my passport because after washing it doesn't look so good anymore.Its sparkly clean! but I was afraid to run it through the dryer's "Wrinkle Free" cycle therefore it's a bit wrinkly.

So after some thought I decided that I didn't really want to have passport problems through S.E. Asia and I also didn't really want to spend another two weeks here while a new passport was issued.

So I booked a flight home. Tomorrow to be exact. I'll arrive in Philly at 2:45pm and catch a bus to A.C.

So one more day here in Amsterdam and back with you all to enjoy the last two weeks of summer.

For all those interested: courtesy of Art- there are according to Wikipedia 700,000 bikes in Amsterdam.

Wednesday, August 13, 2008

Partir en France

WhereisDJtoday.com is alive again! I have just left France spending my last evening in Nice. Nice is a fun city in the summer. The winter also, but whether dining, drinking, walking or just people watching in the snaky labyrinth of Old Towne it is so alive in summer that simply being surrounded by it is more than enough entertainment.

So I was in France and Monaco for over 7 months, “Did I learn to speak French?” I guess that depends on what you mean by “speak”. Yes, “I can speak French”, but I think I’d be torn apart in a debate with a 3 year old and ‘L’Enfant’ would certainly have better grammar! I didn’t get any practice on the boat, but as soon as I started mixing it up with the locals this last week things started to come together if ever so slightly. I had to break myself out of the habit of quickly telling someone speaking French that “Je ne parlez pas L’France” or “I don’t speak French” because as I would finish the sentence a bell would go off and I’d realize that I did in fact sort of understand what they had just said. I think I was 1 French girlfriend away from actually making sense of the language. Good thing I left, I hear the French girls can really put the claw into you.

End Score: Monaco = Lots O’ $$$ with no charm! French Riviera = Considerable $$$ with character and things to do! Travel Tip: St. Tropez and for that matter Portofino, Italy are tourist traps. Keep your visit down to a day trip and move on. Do you really want to spend your hard earned vacation dollars on way overpriced fashions and to gawk for hours at luxury yachts backing into their berths? It can be quite the spectacle when you look up and see that your 5 person play entitled “A Completely Un-Dramatic Yacht Berthing” in 1 Act (hopefully?!) is being played for a Standing Room Only crowd (there isn’t any seating) of 400 people. And they are always gone by the time you get the gangway out and have a chance to ‘pass the hat’!

So even though I could have stood a few more days in Nice I was ready to make like a tree and leaf. Where to then?? Well my bank seems to have pulled its finger out of it’s a*s so that saves me a trip to the U.K.. After much consideration I decided that Amsterdam would be a good place to hole up for a while until I could organize the rest of the journey.

So at 6am I practiced my French one last time as I handed off the hotel key to the elderly gentleman returning to the hotel with a ’sac’ of freshly baked baguettes. He said he worked for the hotel, at least that’s what I think he said?!?

Arriving in Amsterdam I was a little surprised to find it sunny, but cool and breezy like early spring or late fall Jersey shore weather. I overheard a traveler say to someone at the other end of the phone “Yeah, it’s boiling here!”. I’m thinking “where are you from?!” and regretting donating all my warm clothes to The French Legion. And by ‘French Legion’ I mean whatever group of French recipients that wind up wearing two bags of clothing.

A quick ride on the train takes me from the Schiphol Airport to Amsterdam Central and from there it’s a short walk to the ‘Budget Hotel Inn’. I’m a little early for check-in so I drop the bags and go for a wonder. Along the canal on the far side from Amsterdam Central is the main commercial ‘Straat’ with all your restaurants, shops, café shops and of course coffee shops. Don’t confuse the two! One more block in and you are simply in the neighbor hood. A quiet and mind clearing walk along the canals always does one good.

Eventually stopping at a café and I settle down to an outdoor table on the corner of the ’neighbor hood’. I start off with a cappuccino which takes forever to order because the poor solo worker is Slammed! Everyone in America drives cars, everyone in France rides scooters and everyone in Amsterdam rides bicycles. I started to wonder how many bicycles there must be in the city. Then I decide to count them. I realized I would quickly tire counting every single bike in the city or I would at least run out of time. So I counted bicycles for ten minutes at an intersection and got a count of 164. That is about 1000 per hour through just one intersection in just one neighbor hood!

I noticed another thing: each bike has lights, a bell, a lock and the obvious pairs of wheels, pedals and handlebars. What you won’t see is ONE mirror! Now I don’t know if I’m missing something here, but unless there is some deep rooted cultural aversion or phobia to mirrors on bikes, someone should import one of those magical mirrors and figure out how to attach it to a handlebar. I know the technology probably isn’t there yet, but when it arrives a person could make a killing over here selling the things! Think of how many lives would be saved, how many tragic bicycle accidents would be prevented by simply taking the over the shoulder blind spot out of the equation! Simple 3 speed bikes cost around 500-700 euros, what’s another 15 euros for something which could possibly save you from the pain and suffering of enduring a lifetime 5mm scar you might get scraping your knee in that near fatal bicycle crash! You can also now get a scooter with 2 helmets and a maintenance plan for 1600 euros. If the scooters start selling watch for the mayhem to begin. In that case, invest in band aids, sutures and gauze. The scooters already have mirrors!

Fortunately there are only a few scooters running around. As to the original question as to how many bicycles are in Amsterdam? I have no idea! I’ll take a wild guess at 500,000. If I had a wi-fi hook up at the moment I would try and find out for you, but if you are reading this then you have time to google it yourself. Let me know what you come up with. For now I’m just going to sit back and watch the waitress (cute by the way) take away my coffee cup and ask her to bring a sandwich and a pint to wash it down with as I watch Amsterdam go by…… 1 bicycle, 2 bicycles, 3,4,5 bicycles……

Sunday, August 03, 2008

Free at Last

Free at Last. Free at Last!

I am no longer the Captain of Jazz of Monaco. I got the boot and couldn’t be happier. They wanted things to go perfectly and I couldn’t deliver perfection so they decided to bring on the “much more experienced” captain who relieved me when I was on holiday to finish out the season. I can’t blame them for wishing for perfection, but I think they are foolish to be believe it possible.

The split was amicable. In fact, I’m still helping them straighten out some of the accounting which was supposed to be done on a monthly basis. However, they fired their accountant and it’s been piling up for six months and of course I’m the only one who can make heads and tails of it all.

Really there is no doubt that I was more unhappy than they were and no doubt I am and will be happier than they will be now that I have been released.

So at the moment they have me in a Hotel Compte de Nice in Beauleiu through Friday. So the question arises, “What’s next?”. A good question which I’m working out at the moment. I get hit with a huge tax bill if I go back home before October so for now that’s going to have to wait. So I have two months to kill one way or the other. I could try for more work around here which I will do, if only half heartedly. What I think I will do though is take some time for myself.

Firstly, if I can’t get access to my offshore account by the end of the week I will be flying to London to straighten that out. Two months ago I sent in requested documents so that I could access my account via Internet/phone and apparently I slipped through the cracks. Since then I have been accruing a long diary of un-returned phone calls trying to straighten things out, but so far to no avail. It’s really pissing me off since NatWest is basically holding me ransom. The money goes in, but doesn’t come out.

Once I’ve got that taken care of the world is my oyster. I don’t really like oysters, but I do like the east and will probably fly to Thailand. I think another retreat is in order. If I don’t reach enlightenment there and decide to rejoin society I think a career move is in order. Are you ready for this; I’m gonna be a helicopter pilot! It’s something I’ve been considering for years, but the price tag has always been prohibitive. Now I’ve got the money, I still have the desire and with all the baby boomers (Vietnam pilots) retiring the market is good.

I’ll update later in the week when I have a better idea of what I’m doing….

Tuesday, June 17, 2008

Jersey Shore

June 15th 2008
Well after working 45 days straight without a break the owner of my boat realized that it would be critical for me to have some time off if I was to survive the rest of the season. So last week I hopped on an Air France flight to Philly via Paris.
Mom and Pop picked me up at the airport and we drove back through the Pine Barrens to Barnegat. There really isn’t too much to report. I came back full of plans: 1) Avoid plans. 2) To do as little as possible. 3) Try not to think about work. 4) Drink real coffee. 5) Eat American comfort foods. 6) Mimic a bump on a log. Etc, etc…. I’ve been fairly successful!
I’ve gotten a chance to catch up with a bunch of my old friends. I’ve gotten to surf a couple of times. I’ve gotten to relax in the hot tub. I’ve eaten bagels, pizza, homemade waffles and drank good coffee! Europe still hasn’t and probably never will come around to “American Coffee” even though you can get “Café American”, but it’s not the real deal! Now I’m not suggesting that Europe would or should mimic the U.S.. But the fact is the best coffee comes from South America and is extremely popular throughout the Americas so you would think that you could find some Columbian Beans and brew some, but alas it’s all espresso or what we have on the boat which is Nescafe capsules. Nothing close to real coffee. And Europeans love their espresso, it such a part of the culture you’d think in this day and age they may branch into new territory and expand their palates a little. No such luck. Anyhooo…
The latest highlight was a trip up to Boston, Amesbury to be exact, to visit my sister, her husband and my little 9 month old Nephew. He is just starting to crawl around and pull himself up to stand. He is a happy baby, full of smiles and we believe he has to be the cutest baby alive today. We may be biased, but you’d be hard pressed to disagree.
So it’s been a little over a week at home and I have a little under a week to go. I plan on carrying on with my detailed plans: eat, sleep, surf, be lazy and little else!!

Tuesday, May 13, 2008

Stuck in Livorno

So it’s been awhile since I’ve last written. Needless to say we’ve been busy and the last month is a blur so I’m just going to recap the last week or so. We are currently on charter for the boss who celebrates his birthday in three days. This charter was scheduled to begin on Friday and the plans were to travel down to Isola Elba in Italy and then travel north to the Cinque Terre area.

Supposedly Elba is lovely and most people who visit wind up wanting to buy property there so I was keen to have a look. The Cinque Terre area is a beautiful stretch of coast line which I visited on my backpacking trip and so I suggested we include that into the itinerary. The literal translation is “five lands” and not surprisingly is comprised of five small towns built along the terraced cliff sides overlooking the coast. Quaint towns with old world charm which until 1960 had no roads connecting them, but only the now infamous Cinque Terre Trail and the railroad. To this day most of the towns don’t allow automobile traffic.

I had scheduled our departure for early Wednesday morning so we would arrive in Livorno, Italy in the evening. I picked Livorno for two reasons: 1) It is very near to the Pisa airport and convenient for the guests. 2) The Benetti ship yard is in the area and so I could get them to come and do some warranty work on the boat.

So as of Tuesday morning all our reservations were set and we were taking on provisions for the trip. Tuesday afternoon I got the call saying that instead of Elba the boss would like to go to Portofino as well as still doing the Cinque Terre. The mad scramble was on to change the plans, cancel the reservations we had and make the new ones.

Portofino is a very desirable little marina about 25 miles west of La Spezia. It has only 8 berths for visitors and so it can be difficult to get a berth and in the summer damn near impossible. So I served up my volley of phone calls and got the ball rolling. We left port with no idea of whether or not it would be possible to berth there.

Our crossing to Italy went well. Low wind, calm seas, sun, blue skies, dolphins and I even spotted a small Sunfish. We made good time and arrived in Livorno by 7pm. I should have known that troubles laid ahead by the arrival form I had to send ahead to the port. An ugly place, a huge commercial port and also a military presence. Dirty, old and not at all appealing, but we were here to get work done and not for the scenery.

The next morning the port agent arrived to get our details. He wanted copies of every ship document we had on board, but we had them all so no problem. Or almost. The next morning (Friday) he was back with a problem. They noticed two of our documents were outdated. All have been applied for and we are awaiting the new documents, but apparently there is two much red tape to get through and 4 months later we still were without.

So without these documents the port will not let us leave! Detained in Hell and the guests are arriving in a few hours and they expect to leave immediately. Merde!! (French for Shit!) Now my back is up against the wall. I serve up another volley of phone calls rapidly burning through phone credit with my French phone and try to get a small army working to resolve this crisis ASAP. I might add that no one has ever heard of a yacht being detained for these documents, but there you are, just my luck.

One of the documents had to do with commercial chartering of the yacht which is required by the MCA, but we were able to bypass that one by having the owner on board and declaring that we were operating privately and not commercially. The other document we weren’t going to be so lucky with. We had to have it or we were stuck there and the document has to be issued from England and its Friday afternoon. After a herd of phone calls and putting the screws to a few people we managed to get an assurance that someone from the Italian office would arrive Saturday morning with a temporary certificate which would satisfy the port and allow us to leave.

Meanwhile the guests had been delayed. Their original flight plans went awry and they wound up flying into Rome on a private flight. The problem was that the airport they landed at didn’t allow private flights. So as they taxied to a stop they were surrounded by lots of lights and guns, local police, airport security and Interpol!! The authorities were in a good mood though, probably happy to have the rare opportunity to draw there weapons in the line of duty and let everyone off with a good talking to. The pilots were lucky there and could have lost their licenses.

So all in all a rough day for everyone, but they arrived in the evening and were understanding regarding the boats predicament. I was just praying the document would arrive in the morning and we could get the hell out of Dodge!

I had received confirmation of a berth not in Portofino, but the marina just next to it for Friday evening, but we weren’t going to make that although we would still have to pay for it. I let the agent know that we would still like the reservation at Porto Santa Margherita for Saturday and the next morning after the temporary document arrived, all the I’s were dotted an t’s crossed we made our way out of Livorno as fast as we could. I vowed never to go back. Of course, today I learned that I will in fact be going back in October to get the rest of our warranty work done before it expires. Se le Vie!

It would be about a six hour cruise to Santa Margherita and Cinque Terre is along the way. So my fears were realized when the boss asked to stop in Cinque Terre for a stroll. I had planned on doing this later in the week, not on the cruise up. We had to be in port by 6:30pm or we would be locked out and have to anchor for the evening. I hate anchoring!! You have to be on 24 hour anchor watch which means that Scott (Engineer/Mate) and I are lucky to get 4 hours sleep in a day. So as they were sitting down for lunch I pulled up close to Monterossa (the first of the five towns) and dropped anchor. That area is a wildlife park and there are restrictions along the coast with regard to anchoring, fishing, etc. I made sure that I stayed out of the no anchor zone, but quickly surmised that I might still be out of bounds as I spotted a zodiac making a beeline towards us.

Struggling through the Italian we realized that although it is possible to anchor where we were, our boat was too big so we would have to move on. At least I didn’t get a ticket. So we weighed anchor, moved offshore a bit and started doing slow circles to allow the guests to finish lunch before they went ashore for their excursion. I allowed the boat to get far enough offshore so that the ride in by tender didn’t look so appealing and sure enough they decided that they wouldn’t be going ashore after all and we could make our way to Santa Margherita. Maybe my luck is changing?!

Arriving in Santa Margherita we found it also to be very nice and dollar for dollar or euro for euro much more preferable in my opinion to Portofino. But then that’s just my sensibilities, I was never much on exclusivity such as Portofino has with its reputation for having celebrity yachts in harbour. So the only snafu there was that I couldn’t get a dinner reservation at their restaurant of choice.

In the morning after we picked up some fresh bread we headed out to cruise around the bay and finally anchored to wait for our berth in Portofino to open up. Check in time is normally 2pm so I wasn’t too pleased when it wasn’t until nearly 4pm that they gave me the OK to enter. Particularly when just before that a squall kicked up making it a challenge to get the guests back on board and put the tender back into the garage. Not to mention having to dock in heavy rain and wind.

No matter though, we got in, dropping both anchors to secure our bow, tied up and gave the dock master a tip. I didn’t particularly feel it was deserved, but good luck getting back in later in the season if you don’t spread some love. They were very appreciative, uncannily so really, but as long as they remember us, all is good.

In Portofino I was actually able to get a reservation for their restaurant of choice, "Puny" only to have them blow it off! The next day as I was visiting the Carabinierrie (immigration) to supply all our passports, even Max’s (Golden Lab) the guests went off and came back with a load of expensive silver knick knacks for the boat and 8 cases of fine wine.

We were booked for a second evening there, but as plans on this boat change with the movement of the planets I wasn’t surprised to learn that two of the guests wouldn’t be leaving today as planned, but we would all be setting sail together back for France that afternoon.

So we headed back in not the best weather, but managed to keep ahead of the worst of it and arrived back in Villefranche to anchor for the evening among a swarm of other boats. A stiff wind necessitated a vigil anchor watch and with a few hours sleep in the morning we went around the peninsula to Cap Ferrat where we are currently anchored for the evening.

So that brings us up to date. Our Grand Prix charter starts on the 27th and then we have a one day charter on the 2nd of June. An insurance survey right after that and then June 6th I fly home for two weeks! Our berth for the Grand Prix is just outside the tunnel before the chicane, front row. So if you watch on the tele you might get a glimpse of us or at least the boat. That is if it isn’t a complete blur as the camera follows F-1 cars speeding by…….

Bon Soiree

Update: Woke up this morning for my 4am anchor watch shift and saw a note from the boss, "Can we wake up in St. Tropez? That would be very good. Thanks". My immediate thought was that "waking up in Thailand with two asian girls giving me a Thai massage would be very good, but I guess St. Tropez is somewhat more practical." So I'll see ya in St. Tropez this morning if you are around and everyone will be around because the Cannes film festival begins today. Parking will be at a premium....

Stuck in Livorno

So it’s been awhile since I’ve last written. Needless to say we’ve been busy and the last month is a blur so I’m just going to recap the last week or so. We are currently on charter for the boss who celebrates his birthday in three days. This charter was scheduled to begin on Friday and the plans were to travel down to Isola Elba in Italy and then travel north to the Cinque Terre area.

Supposedly Elba is lovely and most people who visit wind up wanting to buy property there so I was keen to have a look. The Cinque Terre area is a beautiful stretch of coast line which I visited on my backpacking trip and so I suggested we include that into the itinerary. The literal translation is “five lands” and not surprisingly is comprised of five small towns built along the terraced cliff sides overlooking the coast. Quaint towns with old world charm which until 1960 had no roads connecting them, but only the now infamous Cinque Terre Trail and the railroad. To this day most of the towns don’t allow automobile traffic.

I had scheduled our departure for early Wednesday morning so we would arrive in Livorno, Italy in the evening. I picked Livorno for two reasons: 1) It is very near to the Pisa airport and convenient for the guests. 2) The Benetti ship yard is in the area and so I could get them to come and do some warranty work on the boat.

So as of Tuesday morning all our reservations were set and we were taking on provisions for the trip. Tuesday afternoon I got the call saying that instead of Elba the boss would like to go to Portofino as well as still doing the Cinque Terre. The mad scramble was on to change the plans, cancel the reservations we had and make the new ones.

Portofino is a very desirable little marina about 25 miles west of La Spezia. It has only 8 berths for visitors and so it can be difficult to get a berth and in the summer damn near impossible. So I served up my volley of phone calls and got the ball rolling. We left port with no idea of whether or not it would be possible to berth there.

Our crossing to Italy went well. Low wind, calm seas, sun, blue skies, dolphins and I even spotted a small Sunfish. We made good time and arrived in Livorno by 7pm. I should have known that troubles laid ahead by the arrival form I had to send ahead to the port. An ugly place, a huge commercial port and also a military presence. Dirty, old and not at all appealing, but we were here to get work done and not for the scenery.

The next morning the port agent arrived to get our details. He wanted copies of every ship document we had on board, but we had them all so no problem. Or almost. The next morning (Friday) he was back with a problem. They noticed two of our documents were outdated. All have been applied for and we are awaiting the new documents, but apparently there is two much red tape to get through and 4 months later we still were without.

So without these documents the port will not let us leave! Detained in Hell and the guests are arriving in a few hours and they expect to leave immediately. Merde!! (French for Shit!) Now my back is up against the wall. I serve up another volley of phone calls rapidly burning through phone credit with my French phone and try to get a small army working to resolve this crisis ASAP. I might add that no one has ever heard of a yacht being detained for these documents, but there you are, just my luck.

One of the documents had to do with commercial chartering of the yacht which is required by the MCA, but we were able to bypass that one by having the owner on board and declaring that we were operating privately and not commercially. The other document we weren’t going to be so lucky with. We had to have it or we were stuck there and the document has to be issued from England and its Friday afternoon. After a herd of phone calls and putting the screws to a few people we managed to get an assurance that someone from the Italian office would arrive Saturday morning with a temporary certificate which would satisfy the port and allow us to leave.

Meanwhile the guests had been delayed. Their original flight plans went awry and they wound up flying into Rome on a private flight. The problem was that the airport they landed at didn’t allow private flights. So as they taxied to a stop they were surrounded by lots of lights and guns, local police, airport security and Interpol!! The authorities were in a good mood though, probably happy to have the rare opportunity to draw there weapons in the line of duty and let everyone off with a good talking to. The pilots were lucky there and could have lost their licenses.

So all in all a rough day for everyone, but they arrived in the evening and were understanding regarding the boats predicament. I was just praying the document would arrive in the morning and we could get the hell out of Dodge!

I had received confirmation of a berth not in Portofino, but the marina just next to it for Friday evening, but we weren’t going to make that although we would still have to pay for it. I let the agent know that we would still like the reservation at Porto Santa Margherita for Saturday and the next morning after the temporary document arrived, all the I’s were dotted an t’s crossed we made our way out of Livorno as fast as we could. I vowed never to go back. Of course, today I learned that I will in fact be going back in October to get the rest of our warranty work done before it expires. Se le Vie!

It would be about a six hour cruise to Santa Margherita and Cinque Terre is along the way. So my fears were realized when the boss asked to stop in Cinque Terre for a stroll. I had planned on doing this later in the week, not on the cruise up. We had to be in port by 6:30pm or we would be locked out and have to anchor for the evening. I hate anchoring!! You have to be on 24 hour anchor watch which means that Scott (Engineer/Mate) and I are lucky to get 4 hours sleep in a day. So as they were sitting down for lunch I pulled up close to Monterossa (the first of the five towns) and dropped anchor. That area is a wildlife park and there are restrictions along the coast with regard to anchoring, fishing, etc. I made sure that I stayed out of the no anchor zone, but quickly surmised that I might still be out of bounds as I spotted a zodiac making a beeline towards us.

Struggling through the Italian we realized that although it is possible to anchor where we were, our boat was too big so we would have to move on. At least I didn’t get a ticket. So we weighed anchor, moved offshore a bit and started doing slow circles to allow the guests to finish lunch before they went ashore for their excursion. I allowed the boat to get far enough offshore so that the ride in by tender didn’t look so appealing and sure enough they decided that they wouldn’t be going ashore after all and we could make our way to Santa Margherita. Maybe my luck is changing?!

Arriving in Santa Margherita we found it also to be very nice and dollar for dollar or euro for euro much more preferable in my opinion to Portofino. But then that’s just my sensibilities, I was never much on exclusivity such as Portofino has with its reputation for having celebrity yachts in harbour. So the only snafu there was that I couldn’t get a dinner reservation at their restaurant of choice.

In the morning after we picked up some fresh bread we headed out to cruise around the bay and finally anchored to wait for our berth in Portofino to open up. Check in time is normally 2pm so I wasn’t too pleased when it wasn’t until nearly 4pm that they gave me the OK to enter. Particularly when just before that a squall kicked up making it a challenge to get the guests back on board and put the tender back into the garage. Not to mention having to dock in heavy rain and wind.

No matter though, we got in, dropping both anchors to secure our bow, tied up and gave the dock master a tip. I didn’t particularly feel it was deserved, but good luck getting back in later in the season if you don’t spread some love. They were very appreciative, uncannily so really, but as long as they remember us, all is good.

In Portofino I was actually able to get a reservation for their restaurant of choice, "Puny" only to have them blow it off! The next day as I was visiting the Carabinierrie (immigration) to supply all our passports, even Max’s (Golden Lab) the guests went off and came back with a load of expensive silver knick knacks for the boat and 8 cases of fine wine.

We were booked for a second evening there, but as plans on this boat change with the movement of the planets I wasn’t surprised to learn that two of the guests wouldn’t be leaving today as planned, but we would all be setting sail together back for France that afternoon.

So we headed back in not the best weather, but managed to keep ahead of the worst of it and arrived back in Villefranche to anchor for the evening among a swarm of other boats. A stiff wind necessitated a vigil anchor watch and with a few hours sleep in the morning we went around the peninsula to Cap Ferrat where we are currently anchored for the evening.

So that brings us up to date. Our Grand Prix charter starts on the 27th and then we have a one day charter on the 2nd of June. An insurance survey right after that and then June 6th I fly home for two weeks! Our berth for the Grand Prix is just outside the tunnel before the chicane, front row. So if you watch on the tele you might get a glimpse of us or at least the boat. That is if it isn’t a complete blur as the camera follows F-1 cars speeding by…….

Bon Soiree

Update: Woke up this morning for my 4am anchor watch shift and saw a note from the boss, "Can we wake up in St. Tropez? That would be very good. Thanks". My immediate thought was that "waking up in Thailand with two asian girls giving me a Thai massage would be very good, but I guess St. Tropez is somewhat more practical." So I'll see ya in St. Tropez this morning if you are around and everyone will be around because the Cannes film festival begins today. Parking will be at a premium....

Sunday, April 06, 2008

Easter

Well we had a day and a half off after the MIPIM conference charter during which time I brought on Iwona (Eva) as stewardess. Monday came and it was time to get prepared for our Easter charter which was to begin on Thursday and end on the following Monday.

During that time we cruised between Monaco and Cannes and the weather was spotty at best. It all went pretty well until Sunday evening when the boys came back to the boat around 11:30pm and asked for a snack. I asked the chef to prepare them something and he refused! So about 30 seconds later I fired him and he was packing his bags. The first time I’ve had that pleasure, but probably not the last. It’s a difficult position to be in letting go of a chef during a charter, but I really didn’t have a choice except to wait until the next afternoon when the charter ended. Although by then I might have done something stupid and forgiven him. It really wasn’t working out anyway and I think he wanted to go. So now I’m looking for a chef and they are in short supply and high demand so it will be a challenge. And if anyone wants to come by for a BBQ, please do. I have about 100 lbs of meat and fish that he over ordered which is bound to go bad!

Of course again the crew is bordering on exhaustion because the two the guests decided to stay another week turning our 4 day charter into a 11 day charter. I won’t air out all my laundry, but suffice to say that there has been a lot going on behind the scenes which has made it a stressful week.

By the way, thank you all for the Birthday well wishes. I can hardly believe I’m 30!! ;) I must admit that I’m a little miffed that it will be a week after my birthday before I get a chance to step off the boat for a celebratory drink. Oh well, there is always next year.

So now all the guests have gone and I’ve had a chance to get the crew some time off. I worked though, albeit at a more relaxed pace. It’s the weekend now and although I can’t seem to completely stop working I’m not killing myself with the load.

Spring is in the air here in the Riviera with nice sunny and warm days. Captain Pierre is back from Florida and in the area so I’ll get to catch up with him over lunch tomorrow. All the big boats are trickling back into the area. One of them arrives Tuesday and we are in their berth so we have to move. Our time is running out here in Port Hercule I think. We may be able to bounce around from one empty berth to another for another week or two, but after that I expect that all the berths will be filled with their rightful owners and we will have to move around the hill to Port Fontvielle.

Interesting note: We are paying about 100 euro ($150) a day for electricity! We aren’t even running the air conditioning! It would actually be cheaper for us to live on generator power except for the wear and tear on the gen sets. Not my problem though, you want to live the life, you gotta pay the price.

And I don’t know what gas prices are up to in the states, but this might make you all feel a little better. It’s 1.20 euro a litre here. There are 4 litres to a gallon so that’s 4.80/gal. !!! Now you realize why there are so many matchbox cars in Europe.
Anyway, I’m going to go and mix in with the nightlife and get my dance on.
Take care,

PS. Still looking for another stewardess and chef for any yachtees out there reading this. Oh, and a captain for our chase boat too. And a relief capatain for the yacht so I can take a holiday! ;)

Saturday, March 15, 2008

MIPIM

I write to you red eyed from the Bay of Cannes. We have been here on charter for the last few days for the MIPIM conference, 'the world's largest property and hotel development' conference in the world. It's been a long month and this week's straw is weighing heavy on this camels back. We have been busy, very busy. The owner has a flat in a hotel overlooking Port de Monaco so since we moved into that port he has been around everyday. I'm afraid that like a kid who gets his favorite toy on Christmas day he is going to play with it too much and too hard to the point where he breaks it! It's not that he only comes around everyday, but he wants to take the boat for a cruise everyday also!

Now you may be saying, 'what's wrong with that, his boat, he should use it.' Fair enough, but it ain't like taking a car for a spin. The real problem though is that when he is around we can't get any of the business done that really needs to be done. And of course he doesn't have a clue of what goes on behind the scenes. He probably thinks we sit around all day sipping coffee and watching soap operas. He doesn't understand weather either. Last Wednesday I put my foot down and told him we couldn't go out because there was a forecast for high winds which was true and it was also a perfect excuse to get a little break. But, of course, the weather men made a liar out of me. The next day I get the call, "I'm looking out my window and it looks like a flat lake. Let's go out.". Even though the forecast was again bad I couldn't really stuff him two days in a row so I warned him that things could turn bad quickly and that we might need to high tail it back to port. So away we went and no sooner did we drop anchor when the winds kicked up. Perfect for flying a kite, not so good for boating.

So we were anchored in the lee so the swell was relatively calm, but still very heavy swirling winds due to the land mass and we did drag the anchor a bit and had to reset it. So he went ashore with the dog, oh the dog. Lovely Retriever pup of 1 year, "Max". He's great, but having a dog on a yacht is a pain in the ass. Luckily he is really well trained in the deficating area and hasn't had any accidents, yet! But he did get sea sick on deck the other day. And so we often need to walk him which is fine except he really only goes on grass and finding a patch of grass around here can be like finding a needle in a hay stack. The other night we were in the commercial port of Nice and Glenn and I took him out. It was hilarious. No grass around and two grown men trying to coax Max into relieving himself. I even resorted to lifting him into a large tree pot, but he just hopped back down. Now he's getting brave in the tender and wants to leap out and back onto the yacht perhaps a little too early. He will definately be learning to swim this summer.

Anyway, finally I said to him that the forecast was coming true and that we should return to port or we might get stuck at anchor for a couple of days which would jeopardize our being prepared for the MIPIM conference. He was oblivious. Partly because we were in the lee, partly because he was within the vinyl enclosure on the deck which blocks the wind and partly because we had the zero speed stabilizers smoothing things out. He didn't argue though and said he gather his things and get off there in Cap Ferrat. That was a disappointment because I really wanted to teach him a lesson. If he came back with us he would have seen how shitty it got and perhaps gained some much needed understanding with regard to boating and weather. That the sea looks like a pancake from your window doesn't mean squat!! Even as I was depositing him into the tender to go ashore he asked me if I was sure, "it doesn't look so bad." I assured him that outside it wouldn't be pretty and that it would only be getting worse. He left and we had a washing machine ride home, surfing some large swells. Always a strange sensation and humbling when a fifty eight ton yacht's engines are rendered null and a swell that's moving faster than you picks you up and pushes you forward. Great for gas mileage, not so good for the nerves. The boat isn't supposed to be taken out in anything above Force 4 winds, coming in we had Force 8 winds. Luckily the port is well protected so once we got past the seawall it wasn't too tricky to get back into our berth.So that was last week.

Oh, Glenn, my engineer, his contract is up and he's now enjoying himself in Turkey. Lucky bastard. My new engineer is Scott and he seems to be working out well. I've got a stewardess flying in on Saturday. Hopefully she will work out. For the moment I have Jean Claire as stewardess for the conference. So they have a lot of important meetings set up for this conference and wanted to use the boat as a base. For the sake of maintaining my confidentiality agreement I'll say Mr. X asked me last week to try and get a berth for the conference. I had to bite my tongue to keep from asking if 'Hell just froze over', 'Do you see pigs flying', or 'for next year or the following'??? I made the calls of course and all the ports were kind enough not to laugh in my face. Most of the boats booked for this conference last year, it's full, full, full. I even made a round of calls again this weekend. I heard that there was one cancellation and that was taken in five minutes. No suprise since there were about 20 boats already at anchor in the area ready to pounce on any openings.

So all week the forecasts weren't looking good so we weren't sure if we would be able to go at all. In the end it looked like the storm front was going to clear out earlier than expected and we might get to the conference after all if maybe a little late. On Monday I gave them the update: Tuesday-bad. Wednesday-improving, but still bad. Thur/Fri-Good. Did Mr. X listen, of course not. Tuesday evening we pulled out of port headed for Cannes which is about 2 hours at normal cruising speed. Got just to the seawall and realized that we would not be running at normal cruising speed. Two meter swells on the nose. Big smile on my face. See the light, see the light. Actually I think what Mr. X saw was the inside of the toilet bowl. Pray to the porcelin god! I think a guest or two were also green and I heard later that Jean the stew also lost it. It was clear that we couldn't do this for another 3 hours so we pulled into the lee of Cap Ferrat and anchored there for the night.

In the morning we set sail bright and early still into decent sized swells on the nose. We arrived at the Antibes point and rounded the corner which afforded us relief from the swell. I dropped the anchor and off loaded the guests to go to their meetings for the day. I was on anchor watch in the afternoon when I got a call from Neil. As I was speaking to him I noticed a boat getting very close to us. Or were we getting really close to the other boat. Sorry Neil, gotta go, Click! It was us who were dragging our anchor. The wind had switched 180 degrees and strengthened all of which I was very aware of and I monitored the anchors bite during the switch. It had appeared ok. But apparently the spin loosened it just enough to slowly drag and then it got to a hole where the depth doubles and that was it, away we went. That's why someone is always on anchor watch!

So I hustle over the the ignitions and crank over the engines. Only one starts due to a battery problem which I won't get into except to say that I'm ready to cut off someone's balls at Benetti. So I hit the general ships alarm (the first time doing it for anything other than a drill). We can parallel the batteries from the engine room so I sent the engineer down to get the other engine started. But we were moving too fast and too close so it was too late by then to wait for the second engine. So I worked with what I had and using the bow thruster and one engine slid past the other boat. Once we got to the other side of the hole the anchor dug in again, we let out more chain and breathed a sigh of relief. Neil wasn't on board, but after I told him about the incident he really grasped the seriousness of this battery problem which I have been bitching about for about 2 months now. So now it will get resolved quickly. Unfortunately it's not like going out and buying another car battery nor is it cheap. Probably 10,000 euros to replace them, but Benetti should pick up the bill because they didn't set up the battery chargers correctly and thus they haven't been getting charged up for, oh, about 8 months!!

Today we moved to another spot heavily populated. What a pain in the ass anchoring is here. We set it and half an hour later the wind switched and we had to move again due to the proximity of another boat. It's crowded, space limited and all these different boats swing on their chains differently so all you can do is keep a sharp lookout and wait for things to develop. And hope your engines start if you need them!!
So needless to say, I'm knackered. Sharing the anchor watches with Scott and neither of us getting too much sleep.

Oh well, the wind has died down, it's all over tomorrow and did I mention I got another raise. I won't say what I'm making, but I will say that I definately think higher tax brackets suck!! Never could of or would of said that before!

Bon Soir

Sunday, February 17, 2008

My "First Ride"

My "First Ride" was a 1975 Chevy Caprice Classic affectionately called the “Metallic Dinosaur”. Twenty plus feet of American steel powered by an ample V8 which would torque the whole car as you revved the engine. In its heyday I’m sure it was a fine luxurious vehicle. When I got a hold of it, well it had big rust outs, the ceiling fabric massaged your scalp and it was questionable whether or not there was any silver paint on it or it was just the bare metal? It was however a ride and it never let me down even that time on a surf trip to Cape Hatteras when we lost the muffler just before getting on the Cape May ferry and roared through the mideastern seaboard scaring the wildlife and hoping we wouldn’t get arrested for noise pollution!

My "Second, First Ride" was a girl named Heather, but let's skip past that.

Well my ‘Third, First Ride’ is slightly more glamorous. A 2007 Thirty meter, 48 ton Benetti Tradition. No rust outs, twin Catapillar diesel engines, sparkling paint, fresh teak wood trimming and it uses only slightly more fuel than the ‘Metallic Dinosaur’. Two weeks ago at a surprise birthday party for Neil he sat down next to me and I immediately got the sense that something of gravity was coming. I didn’t feel that anxiety which usually precedes bad news, but that equanimity which tells me to just wait for it. I try to pay attention to these intuitions and follow them, but there is always that struggle with doubt so when he said “What if we got a really good 1st Mate?”, I had to stop for a second and think to myself “Is he firing me??” No he was promoting me to Captain!!

Although Glenn and myself had been thinking that in the boat’s current situation it probably would be the best thing and that eventually Neil might come around to seeing it, it wasn’t something I was really pushing for. In fact, I was just looking forward to getting a captain on board to take the weight off me and allow me to concentrate on the job I was actually hired to do.

But would I accept the position? Hell yes! It’s a daunting position, but since I’ve essentially been doing it for the last three months I might as well get the credit and official position. And the first ride is always the most difficult to secure. After the first, you’re in the club. You’ve reached the apex and can stroll along the ‘captain’s plateau’ knowing your career is well on its way. As long as you don’t royally screw up.

So yesterday it became official as the insurance company accepted me on to the policy. That wasn’t a sure thing as insurance companies seem to enjoy snuffing out would be applicants, especially ones applying for their first ride. Being an American doesn’t help either. Some foreign companies flat out won’t accept U.S. captains. Luckily our insurance company is pretty liberal and just added a little ‘screw the American’ premium which Neil said he was happy to pay. So I have my ‘First Ride’!!

Last week we moved the boat from Nice to Fontvielle, Monaco. We went to the Bay of Beauleau and did some maneuvers to get a feel for the boat and then went into port Fontvielle. I’m still waiting for the experience of the “Med style” docking where you back into your spot by cramming the boat in between two other boats with barely enough space to fit your fenders. This first berthing of the boat was a little more relaxed. We are on the inner sea wall and they space the boats out because of the swell surge we receive here. Since there are significant surges at this berth they require us to drop both anchors in addition to using the preset bow mooring lines. That was a good exercise especially since we had to do it twice.

I maneuvered the boat into position with the bow a few feet from the opposite quai to drop the Starboard anchor and we set it. Then we maneuvered to drop the Port anchor, but it wouldn’t drop. As Glenn frantically and hopelessly tried to jar the anchor loose I patiently held the boat in position. Finally we had no choice, but to add ‘windlass repair’ to our ‘to do’ list and lower the anchor link by link using the windlass’s motor. With both anchors down we backed towards the quai and secured the stern lines and then the bow mooring lines. It was then that we noticed that the anchor lines were crossed. The delay in dropping the port anchor allowed the starboard chain to drift under the port chain and so we would have to untangle the chains and reset the anchor. But that would have to wait until the dock guy came back from his 3 hour siesta/lunch break. So in the meantime Glenn ripped the windlass apart, cleaned it up and slapped it back together. After lunch we went through the drill again and settled into our new home.

An ideal home it is not and that is a severe understatement! In fact it is probably the worst berth in Monaco, perhaps Europe and maybe even the world! We are trying to get a permanent berth in Port de Hercules and we have to pay our dues and get our foot in the door here. So we are on the seawall where we regularly get large swells rolling and rocking us around. The blessing is that this boat has a ‘stabilization at anchor’ mode which theoretically is meant to keep you still and stable even if you aren’t moving. We have been working the system more days than not, but the reality is that although it helps it only cuts down on the rocking by maybe 40%. Both Glenn and I aren’t apt to ‘sea sickness’ and on the bright side we are getting ‘sea sickness’ acclimation training which may strengthen ourselves against future rough conditions. That said, it really is quite annoying with all this movement. To add insult to injury we are detached from the mainland and have to take the tender ashore to get off the boat. ‘Beggars can’t be choosers’ comes to mind.

So there are lots of challenges on the horizon not the least hiring a good crew. I lose Glenn at the end of the month and it is going to be difficult to replace him. I have to be ‘charter ready’ by March 8th so that means along with getting all the loose ends taken care of I need a Engineer/Deckie, Chief Stew and Stew/deck. Additionally, there is still a 2 week GMDSS course I need to fit in as well as probably sending one or two of the crew off to a 1 week Power boat course so they can legally operate our tenders.

There simply aren’t enough hours in the day, but I’m only here because it’s what I wanted so head down, axe to the grind, all aboard for my crazy first ride on ‘Jazz’ in the Med.

Sunday, February 03, 2008

London Boat Show

So off to the London Boat Show I go….

I flew Easyjet to Gatwick airport and withdrew a hundred pounds from the ATM. Of course it doesn’t weigh a hundred pounds, but since you only get 1 pound for every 2 U.S. dollars it certainly feels weighty.

They have decent train service in the U.K. but it doesn’t come cheap. I hopped on the “Gatwick Express” for a 17 pound half hour ride into London. From there I hopped into one of those quaint London cabs and drove to the ‘Royal Thames Yacht Club’. Neil is a member and had reserved a room for me there. Small, but sufficient although the dress code prevented me from hanging around and chatting up the club members.

I was staying right on the Thames River and Hyde Park was just two blocks away. However, we had typical London weather; cold and rainy, so I wasn’t too keen on walking the city much. So I settled for exploring the famous Harrod’s Department store. A rare pleasure for an avid shopper like myself. All the super expensive designer goods anyone could ever ask for. I spent countless hours trying things on. NOT! I was impressed with one department though, the food court. Fresh made delicacies from every genre of food. The kind of place where you wish you hadn’t eaten for a few days so you could strut in and gorge yourself.

The next morning I met Neil and we went to the London Boat Show at the Expo Center. The Expo is outside the city and was a huge project that went bankrupt. Now they are trying to revive it and have worked a deal with the Boat show. Unfortunately, the show used to be right in the city and now that it’s kind of a hassle to get to the attendance has suffered. Both in terms of the public and the vendors. So I don’t really have anything special to report here, just a lot of walking around getting ideas for the boat. We did see a couple of interesting items and made a few contacts that might be helpful in the future.

So after we had our fill we got a car to the train station, grabbed some take away dinner and waited for the stampede to the train. It was Friday night and the throngs of Londeners were trying to make there way home. It’s an interesting system they have there in their busy main station. There are some 18 tracks and they don’t tell you which track your train is on until the last minute. So you stand there staring at the board getting a kink in your neck while trying to jockey for position at the front of the pack. As soon as the track assignment is posted the stampede begins as everyone starts making their way at anywhere from a speed walking pace to full out sprint. I was one of the fools at a full out sprint. That’s because there are no seat assignments and a very limited amount of comfortable seats with tables to spread out to. Definitely a sought after commodity on a crowded three hour train ride where if you are slow you could actually wind up standing the whole way.

So Neil was in charge of our bags and it was my job to get a couple of good seats. I thought I’d play it smart and head to the farthest cars. At first things looked easy, but then I saw that most of the prized seats had been reserved and so the frantic search began. In the end I barely managed to secure a couple of seats while beating off others until Neil arrived to claim his seat. We were on our way and had some nice conversation with a couple of locals while we dined somewhat comfortably at our table with a high speed view. We arrived in Manchester and hopped into a cab and started to go to our destination, Liverpool. But Liverpool had their opening night as the “City of Culture” and those Mod Liverpool Lads, Ringo and Paul were back in their hometown to play a concert for the opening ceremonies. Who knows maybe John and George were there also, but one thing was for sure, a hell of a lot of other people would be there and hotel rooms might be hard to come by. So instead of possibly being stuffed we decided to stay in Manchester for the evening.

The next morning we made our way to Liverpool to pick up Neil’s new baby. A 7.5 ton Mercedes covered flat bed truck customized and decked out with all the necessary goodies to transport his little Riva boat. We picked the truck up from a tall, lanky mohawked, skull jewelry wearing ex-Hells Angel. Of course looks can be deceiving and I don’t think this guy would hurt a fly.

Not un-typically the truck needed gas so that was our first stop. After the fill up it wouldn’t start. Luckily we were on an incline so we just gained some momentum, popped into second and away we went pledging to not to turn off the truck until we got to our destination so it could get a good charge. We drove South East through the English countryside and the areas where some of the bloodiest battles of World War I took place and finally arrived at the “Chunnel” (English Channel Tunnel).

I had envisioned a typical tunnel that you simply drive through. Not the case. You have to cue up into six long lines of trucks and await your turn to load up on the train. After driving your rig on to the train you have to hop out and take a seat in the passenger compartment. It’s a short trip, but they actually serve dinner. Well everyday except Saturday and Sunday. It was Saturday. So we missed out on dinner, but that wasn’t our only problem. When we got back in the truck and tried to start it up, well you can guess, it didn’t start. We figured the battery was just flat and after a day’s drive would be fully charged. Obviously it wasn’t a flat battery problem or it was compounded by a bad alternator or something else. So with the truck on a dark train on the coast of France with 10 other trucks stuck behind us and patiently waiting for us to move our ass I popped off the battery box cover to investigate. Fortunately the problem was quickly obvious. The battery cable was loose on the terminal.

So we cranked the rig up and got off the train and drove our way to a hotel for the evening. We got in just in time to sweet talk a hostess to convince the kitchen to serve one more meal at a typical French family restaurant in town. The next morning surprise, surprise the truck wouldn’t start. Off with the battery box again. The cable wouldn’t stay on the terminal because all the arcing the first day wore away some of the terminal. I held the cable on to the terminal and amid a small shower of sparks we cranked it over once more.

Another day of monotonous driving and another hotel. We probably could have made it home that night, but we had a little delay along the way. Neil was driving and I was stretching out in the loft above the cab when I felt us slowing down. I opened the hatch and popped my head in to see what was up. “I think we are running out of gas”. Greeaaaaat!! He managed to get off the freeway and we actually got lucky enough to stall out exactly where there was a sort of rest lane along the lonely single lane road. OK so it’s Sunday in France and nothing is open on Sunday in France. I would have called AAA, but by the time they shipped a tow truck overseas well….

Well the stars must have be shining on us because against all odds we managed to find a very helpful Frenchman who had a gas can and drove us to a non attended, but credit card self service fuel station. There wasn’t a funnel on the gas can so I improvised with a wet/dry vacuum house. Now we had some fuel and just had to go through another shower of sparks to get her started. Another hurdle overcome and the next morning we would only have a few more hours to drive and a small detour through Nice because of a tunnel closing.

It’s a good thing we made it when we did because we wouldn’t have been able to start the truck again. The battery terminal had completely disintegrated! Well another adventure over and it’s back to work…..

Monday, January 14, 2008

Aye, Aye Captain or rather Bye, Bye Captain

Well Captain Paul “worked” for four days and then went on Xmas holiday. He was due to return on January 7th. He called on January 4th to say he was not coming back! I’m not a mind reader, but it seems pretty clear to me what happened. Antibes, which is about a half hour from Nice, is a big oasis of ‘yachtees’ and along with that comes a certain conglomerate of ‘crew culture’. In fact, there is the PYA which is the Professional Yachtsman Association, but they use it in the ‘Med’ to refer to Antibes crew as “Pratts on Yachts in Antibes”. Most in this culture are addicted to partying, working as little as possible and constantly looking for the next best thing.

Now I’m not saying that Paul was your average Antibes worker, but he had certain expectations which didn’t include working in the off season. He has a girlfriend and an apartment in Antibes and I believe he was looking to kick back this offseason and do, well very little work.

But the owners have a brand new boat and understandably want to use it and as soon as possible. That means that there is lots of work to do and no time for sitting back on our heels. Paul realized this and decided to bow out. At least that is my take on it.

So we are back down to a crew of two, Glenn and I. And Glenn is only contracted to stay through January although he will probably stay through February. Much of the reason for his longer stay is to help me in my new role. I am now to become First Mate/Chief Engineer and Glenn is going to be my trainer. A boat our size has a very low engineering requirement so it seems to make sense. The boat is new, under warranty and doesn’t seem to have any major issues so in theory the engineering comes down to typical maintenance.

On a boat our size to run the boat we are required to have a minimum crew of three. A captain, a mate, an engineer and a deckhand. Ah, you say, but that’s four crew. True, but someone can do double duty as long as it’s not the captain. So I’ll need to take a 5 day course, Engineering 101, and then I’ll be qualified and satisfy the legal manning requirements for the boat. It has a slight disadvantage because my sea time will be split between ‘deck’ time and ‘engine’ time, but in the end I think it will be good to have on my resume. I’ve always been keen on diversity of skill so I happy to do this even though it will definitely increase my work load.

The challenge now is to crew up. The owners want to use the boat as soon as possible, in fact there is talk of going to Turkey in the beginning of March. However, it won’t be going anywhere without a crew. And March is going to be here in no time. As a mate once again without a captain I’m now back on double duty and about to start on triple duty training as engineer.

A bit of good news: I renegotiated my contract and got a nice raise and a decent bonus coming if I stay through October. And I’m headed to the London boat show this Thursday. After that I’ll be driving with Neil back to Nice in his new truck which is a custom boat hauler for his little Riva motorboat.

I’ll give you the update next week….